


Infomercials

by obscurio



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: F/M, This takes place sometime in s2, as always my writing ability is greatly inspired by the shitposts my friends provide me, but nothing graphic sorry fam lol, i can only dole out one shots like a chump, i'll never get around to completing a multi in this life time, i'm supposed to be working on a mutli chap fic but here i am on my bs again, there's some suggestive stuff hence the rating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-21
Updated: 2017-11-21
Packaged: 2019-02-05 04:25:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12786927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/obscurio/pseuds/obscurio
Summary: “We need it! We can’t keep replacing my bedframe at the crack of a new quintant to avoid suspicion. This will solveallour problems!”





	Infomercials

“Finally, our plan is coming to fruition, Paladins!” Coran pirouettes in place, flourishing his hands yonder, guiding their gaze towards the completed fine machinery that was vital to their plan in defeating Zarkon. “And with time plenty of time to spare! How about a—”

“We all deserve a bit of time to relax before the mission commences in a few quintants,” Allura quickly cuts off Coran before he could entertain the idea of throwing a soiree. The last time they hosted a party in the Castle of Lions, it allowed the Galra to infiltrate the ship and injure one of their own. Despite being on Olkari soil, Allura wasn’t taking any chances. “Perhaps we could all use some…down time?”

Everyone seems to let out a collective sigh of relief. Time was something they never could truly afford in the midst of war. They lived every day as if it were their last, and once the mission was set in motion, it very well may be. A sudden wave of sadness washed over Allura as she took the time to stare into the young faces of Voltron’s chosen Paladins: child soldiers swept into an intergalactic war that was not of their own doing, forced to leave their homes and all that they knew to travel from galaxy to galaxy among strangers, saving one innocent planet at a time.

The Paladins, save for Shiro, exited the viewing deck, shouldering each other with genuine smiles on their faces as they plan out how they’d spend what could be their last moments together. A few moments later Shiro moved to follow, only to be held back by Coran.

“You deserve a break as well Shiro, Princess,” the man chides them both. “I know that I forbade you from doing so before, but why not go get yourself something _sparkly_? I’m sure Shiro would be _more_ than happy to accompany you.”

“I’ll get a pod ready then?” Shiro poses the statement as a question, looking back and forth between the Alteans. “I’ll meet you in the hangar, Princess.”

Allura turns to Coran, stricken with guilt as she tries to explain what she’s kept secret for some time now, “It wasn’t meant to be a secret, Coran. There was just no time—”

“Your father would have been proud of the woman you grew up to be, Princess. He also would have liked Shiro, of that I am certain,” Coran murmurs once the Black Paladin was out of earshot, voice kind as his eyes mist over in what could be fondness. Not a moment later, Coran’s expression turns to solemn and resolute, “But, I must warn you, Allura. There are risks of using a teludav of this magnitude—” his gaze is downcast, the hand that hung limp at his side settles upon the princess’s shoulder, squeezing gently “—there’s a possibility that you might not make it. Are you sure?”

“I know the risks, Coran,” Allura replies, comforting the man she thought of as her second father. “We’ll _both_ make it out of this alive. I’m sure of it.”

Coran offers a small smile, looking unconvinced but amusing her anyhow. They share an embrace before the man clears his throat, putting on a chipper façade, “I won’t hold you up any longer! Your carriage awaits down in the hangar!”

 

+

 

They manage to find an intergalactic hub within two solar systems of planet Olkarion. With the help of a wormhole made from Allura’s residual quintessence within the castleship’s system, what would’ve been hours of travelling was done in one jump. Bidding the other Paladins and Coran adieu, they cut off the intermission before any Galra outposts could pick up on them.

“I’ve never been to these moon swaps before,” Allura murmurs as Shiro pilots the pod with practiced ease, following the traffic as the princess presses her cheek against the glass to take a closer. “My father never allowed me to go, and his opinion of them only worsened when Coran bungled up that one mission long ago.”

Shiro chuckles, easily remembering the conversation from the time Coran insisted the younger Paladins and he go undercover as space pirates in search of scaultrite lenses. “I’m sure they’re not as bad as they used to be. The others all came back in one piece, after all. They even came back with a cow.”

“You never explained the cow joke to me, Shiro,” Allura turns her gaze away from the shopping center to look at him. “All you and the others said was something along the lines of alien abduction. I’ll have you know that there were accords heavily _against_ —”

“We’ll save that story for another time,” he promises between laughter.

 

+

 

After going through the motions of finding a parking cubicle and pulling on their disguises, the duo enter the space mall, both equally enthralled by the vast amount of stores housed in one substantial facility. Following the sea of people leaving the reception area, Shiro leads her towards the ticking tower, unfolding the brochure for their perusal.

“Where would you like to go first?” Shiro asks, head tilting as he tries deciphering the alien language written on the glossy paper.

“There’s no jewelry stores here, unfortunately. Something about the mining colonies on strike,” Allura replies sullenly, flipping the brochure over. “Oh, the map indicates there’s a vendor gathering, though, some sort of bazaar. Apparently the stores change inventory every month to bring variety to this system and neighboring ones.”

“Wanna head over there then? Maybe we’ll stumble upon something you’ll like if we just wander around.”

“Yes, lets!” Without prompting, Allura laces their fingers together, tugging him away from the ticking tower and into the throng of people bleeding out into the shopping center. Following the map provided in the brochure, they manage to enter the bustling marketplace in no time at all.

It’s quite a lively place: a pavilion which curves inward at its center, and at the heart, lay a resting place for visitors and the locale. Food stalls circled around the plaza, and surrounding it were a maze of stores selling obscure wares from all ends of the universe. The concept is familiar to Shiro, but it was all new to Allura who fawned over a store not far from them selling bright colored fabrics.

“Let’s not spend all the money now,” Shiro laughs under his breath as they walk past the store, Allura constantly sending longing looks over her shoulder as they delve deeper into the bazaar. “We haven’t even scratched the surface of what this place has to offer.”

“You’re right,” Allura sighs, thumbing the coin purse Coran had placed into her awaiting hands before they departed. “I guess I’m just excited. The markets in Altea never looked like this.”

“I understand, Princess,” Shiro places a hand at the small of her back, guiding her away from a rowdy group of aliens trying to haggle with prices. “I’m sure we’ll find something.”

The couple spends a long amount of time window shopping, Allura’s curiosity being their guide as they ventured even deeper into the flea market. They’ve walked past a number of stores selling items varying from weapons to exotic plants, but nothing seemed to catch Allura’s interest.

That is, not until they stumble upon an Unilu bragging of their wares with gusto.

“That’s right, folks! These babies can withstand _anything_!” The merchant exclaims, his arms flailing wildly as he tries courting possible customers.

“I wonder what he’s selling,” Shiro murmurs, standing on his toes to peer over the heads of aliens crowding the boutique. The two press closer, interests piqued, until they found themselves at the forefront of the rabble.

“Battle cruiser? Not a mark! She ain’t a bruiser! Supernova photon laser? It didn’t even graze her!” The Unilu crows excitedly, and with a wave of his hand, summons multiple screens as a holo-video comes into focus. The video displayed a group clad in heat resistant wear and masks gathering around a sheet of dark metal. With a Galra blaster in their hands, they make a show of the metal’s resistance to heavy fire. In another scene, the metal acts as a barrier between one of the men and a beast Allura does not recognize. It was an amazing feat, watching the metal withstand the serrated teeth and claws of the large creature. “Ain’t that something, folks?”

The video further piques the interest not only of Shiro and Allura, but the crowd as well. The salesman hasn’t even formally introduced the item, but the crowd was, figuratively speaking, on the edge of their seats.

“Invest in ZarInforcement, and we promise your GAC is well spent!” The video ends and is replaced by a list, accompanied by images, of the possible uses of the durable metal. “Our most popular ZarInforcement is the impenetrable bedframe! Mattress included, how nice, right, folks?”

Shiro chokes on his breath as Allura’s eyebrows nearly rise up to her hairline. It was as if the stars have aligned and some deity took pity upon them and intervened, solving all ninety-nine of their problems, in bed to be particular particular. Allura lost count of the number of times her bed frame crumbled under her strength. She can’t be the only one to blame, though, if anything Shiro was _entirely_ at fault for giving it to her _good._

“Allura, no,” Shiro drawls wrly, clearly reading her thoughts as if she had spoken them aloud.

“Shiro, _listen_ —” Allura huffs, turning to chastise her lover, but was interrupted by the Unilu who continued with their sale's pitch.

“I’m sure all of you know that ordinary bedframes wear and tear over time. I know a man who secretes acid like no other—he went through five bedframes just this phoeb! But after purchasing ZarInforcement, he sleeps in bed like a baby in a cradle! ZarInforcement doesn’t bend, nor will it break, or melt under any circumstances!”

From her peripheral vision, Allura spies Shiro turn his gaze towards his right hand, eyebrow cocked upward. Maybe he still could be convinced after all.

“You must be eighteen decaphoebs or older to order! We accept most GAC credit, MasterZark, Vizo, Vrepitscovery, and other major Galra approved cards,” the peddler is near the end of his pitch, eyes wide as his gaze swings left to right at the crowd that gathered. “This is a _steal!_ This amazing product can be yours in three payments of 399.99 GAC, plus shipping and handling! Whaddaya say, folks? Step right up, and ZarInforcement could be yours!”

The crowd scatters after that, some stepping forward to preview other uses for the commodity, and others perusing the stores around them.

“Shiro, we need that,” Allura speaks quickly, hand tucked into the crook of his elbow, tugging him along behind her.

“Allura,” Shiro sighs, his free hand pinching the bridge of his nose. “We’d be giving money _directly_ to the Galra. That should be the last thing you’d want to do!”

“ _Listen_ ,” Allura turns on him, eyes wide and wild as she gestures towards the video of the ZarInforced bedframe withstanding intense Galra fire, and what looked to be some kind of wrecking ball. “We need it! We can’t keep replacing my bedframe at the crack of a new quintant to avoid suspicion. This will solve _all_ our problems!”

Shiro appears to be conflicted, torn between necessity and morality, “I don’t know, Allura. We’ve been doing just fine. No one seems to even notice.”

“Shiro, we are buying that bedframe,” Allura says, eyes narrowing into slits. “If it can withstand a battleship, it can withstand the random moments you activate your Galra arm when you’re ‘turned o—’”

“Okay, okay, okay!” Shiro hisses through clenched. Heat colors the tips of his ears, and suffuses into his cheeks. Allura sometimes forgets how easy it is to rile him up. “ _Fine._ But I’m not explaining to Coran why his GAC account is in the negatives. _You_ can have that lovely conversation with him when we get back.”

Allura can only frown, “Traitor.”

**Author's Note:**

> This wasn't bet'd, unfortunately. As always, these fics are inspired by the shitposts of my friends on Discord. The Unilu's sale's pitch was directly taken from my friend's post. Thank you for giving me the ability to can, guys. Two for you, Glenn Coco.


End file.
